Panic Attacks Are Normal

Its seven minutes past midnight on my first full night at home since I have returned from the Amy Can Flyy headline tour. I feel the same old familiar feelings creeping in as it really starts to set in that I wont be living out of a suitcase anymore, for now at least. I was going to document the detailed events of the last few weeks on the road but once again I feel as if my ability to put events and feelings into texts would not convey my time to a degree in which I could be happy with.



The night before I left for tour I found myself stood at a standstill yet again saying goodbye to someone I care about, for the last few years I have always been frightened of goodbyes, it is a trait in my personality that I am yet to control, I find in many ways it causes me to purposely isolate myself with irrational and insensitive behaviour, I would sometimes destroy every chance of getting close to someone simply for the fear of ever having to bid farewell to perhaps a potentially fruitful relationship that may occur if more time were to pass. All of this aside certain factors in my life as of the last few months have been screaming at me, that for once I don't want to ruin whats good in my life by my letting own self absorbed ignorance get the better of me.

Tour was amazing, I take no reservations in saying how hard me and the rest of my band have worked in the last few years and to play the shows we did was incredible for us.I would like to personally thank everyone who came down to any of the shows or to anyone who was apart of the making the tour happen the way it did. I learnt a lot while I was away, about myself and others in turn. As the winter months really appear be in motion now I can only thank mother nature and the amazing time I had away from for distracting my mind from the ever appearing calamities I seem to face within myself when December roles around. I can also say it sickens me to see the same old crave for attention and lack of compassion by some parties around me, its difficult to see something in black and white right in front of you, even when you've known all along that things have always been that way. I only hope for the sake of some people that those parties claim to hold dear, see the light and get as far away from you as possible.





It is just over a week until Christmas day, I'm left swimming in a cocktail of post tour blues and the growing excitement of seeing that someone I hold close. The last seven years of my life have been building up to the end of this year, now its upon me, I'm frightened yet uncontrollably curious of how things are going to pan out from now.I Hope everyone has a good Christmas.