The Ones That Fall Apart

It seems that I would be revisiting the keyboard sooner than I would of first anticipated when I wrote my last entry on here. I find myself drawn back just to try and gain some sort of grasp of the tyrant of a shit storm brewing in my head right now, it has been some what of a hectic few days.

Last night saw Amy Can Flyy back playing in our hometown for what will be the last time this year, we wanted to raise the bar with this gig for our own personal reasons but it does have to be said that even with a sell out on advance tickets, I was still racked with nerves about the eventual turn out of the evening.I felt like it went down well and was the perfect way for the four of us to run out the last few summer dates the band are doing before we have the long gap of shows before tour in December. I say it alot and I think the people close to me know that I love playing music more than anything in my world and its the shows like that which really remind me why I have always put the band first in so many aspects of my life.




In the last week I have seen many aspects of my life collapse from the inside out, it would seem that so many things that I thought I knew, I don't. Its a strange feeling when you feel like your life is moving at a million miles an hour yet still your going nowhere,your just stuck in one spot watching everything change around you. I find myself stuck with the same old draw backs in my personality, holding a somewhat negative yet content disposition with the things I have done in my life. Ive found myself resenting people I was once very close with simply for the pure fact that too much of my recent life has been occupied with feeling down or agitated as result of there actions and decisions and in addition it now seems that I'm being forced to watch that person destroy themselves in the most painful and idiotic way possible. I find myself locking words with a now insensate stranger, who at one time very recently I cared about and seemed to share a lot with. It seems this despondent refinement in my life is all apart of growing up recently.


I'm heading into the studio with Ben tomorrow to work on the demos for the new record, I need the space for a day to gather my thoughts and accept the fact that I need to stop caring about the people who only care about themselves, no matter how hard it is to watch there own ignorant self absorbed destruction. I don't know what has been the catalyst for me this week,the pinical point that has made me see all the discrepancies in my current lifestyle. Watching the last two years of my life slowly amount to nothing or looking into the eyes of the one thing that over those two years meant everything. Time will only tell.

It Had To Be You

It seems that summer has some what arrived. Ive spent most of my days recently basking in the ever so unpredictable English sunshine, its in that sunshine that I cant help but be reminded of the previous summers of the last few years of my life. I think my close friends have all now become aware that I am someone who struggles to let go of the past and the people from my past that aren't around so much anymore. I am yet to work out whether this mechanism in me is just my unhealthy obsession with never wanting to be complacent, I sometimes feel the fault in me that never lets me settle down is what keeps me going, it's been so much apart of who I am for so many years previous that I'm afraid without that, I will simple stop working. On the other hand It may just be my utter discontent with making myself stable and happy knowing that I threw away the most genuine chance of happiness that Ive had, a few years back. Either way I can't help but miss that first summer I will never have again.




The week just gone saw me and the rest of Amy Can Flyy head up to London to play the Lava TV Launch Party. I can't thank everyone enough who voted for us on the channel and have kept us at number one most requested artist for quite some time. Its literally amazing and we would never of expected the video to get such a good response from everyone when we went to shoot it so thanks very much. We had a bit of time to kill before we were suppose to load in at the show and had been invited by the kind people at Reebok to come into the Reebok Lounge in Shore ditch and hang out before we went to the show. The traffic in central London was at its usual worst so we actually made it a bit late with only half an hour to kill instead. Traffic or no traffic I have to say Sinead from Reebok was awesome and extremely helpful,she also didn't mind that I had left my socks in the van and was about to try on lots of nice shoes, I have to appreciate her big time for that one. I want to be honest about the whole experience and say I never really feel particularly "cool" from being in a band, its not why I have ever done it however getting invited by Reebok to pick out some free shoes is the one time for thirty minutes where I felt close to "cool" I have no doubt I will not feel this for a long time after.We all picked out some lovely shoes and headed over to the venue for load in and sound check.



In short the show was what we expected, we have always been a band that feed off the energy of the kids watching us so its difficult to re adjust sometimes when your in a different situation to that. After we had played we all utilised the wonders of the open bar and proceeded in having a good time. I got to see my friend Alex which was ace, she moved back to London after doing university in Bournemouth for a bit so the rare chance I get to see her is always pleasant and leaves me with a smile on my face. This week has been an eye opener, I get dragged down by people who don't matter to easily, some apparent friends have exposed the real them this week and knowing the truth and actual intentions behind the pretentious verbal vomit that they spew half the time has done me good. I'm really exited for the week to come, Local show this Thursday is going to be mad. Stay tuned.