The Ones That Fall Apart

It seems that I would be revisiting the keyboard sooner than I would of first anticipated when I wrote my last entry on here. I find myself drawn back just to try and gain some sort of grasp of the tyrant of a shit storm brewing in my head right now, it has been some what of a hectic few days.

Last night saw Amy Can Flyy back playing in our hometown for what will be the last time this year, we wanted to raise the bar with this gig for our own personal reasons but it does have to be said that even with a sell out on advance tickets, I was still racked with nerves about the eventual turn out of the evening.I felt like it went down well and was the perfect way for the four of us to run out the last few summer dates the band are doing before we have the long gap of shows before tour in December. I say it alot and I think the people close to me know that I love playing music more than anything in my world and its the shows like that which really remind me why I have always put the band first in so many aspects of my life.




In the last week I have seen many aspects of my life collapse from the inside out, it would seem that so many things that I thought I knew, I don't. Its a strange feeling when you feel like your life is moving at a million miles an hour yet still your going nowhere,your just stuck in one spot watching everything change around you. I find myself stuck with the same old draw backs in my personality, holding a somewhat negative yet content disposition with the things I have done in my life. Ive found myself resenting people I was once very close with simply for the pure fact that too much of my recent life has been occupied with feeling down or agitated as result of there actions and decisions and in addition it now seems that I'm being forced to watch that person destroy themselves in the most painful and idiotic way possible. I find myself locking words with a now insensate stranger, who at one time very recently I cared about and seemed to share a lot with. It seems this despondent refinement in my life is all apart of growing up recently.


I'm heading into the studio with Ben tomorrow to work on the demos for the new record, I need the space for a day to gather my thoughts and accept the fact that I need to stop caring about the people who only care about themselves, no matter how hard it is to watch there own ignorant self absorbed destruction. I don't know what has been the catalyst for me this week,the pinical point that has made me see all the discrepancies in my current lifestyle. Watching the last two years of my life slowly amount to nothing or looking into the eyes of the one thing that over those two years meant everything. Time will only tell.