About Falling

With Christmas and New Year feeling like a distant bloated memory behind me, I have no choice but to uncomfortably absorb myself in the seasonal need for change and improvement. I can't say I thought about resolutions in any real depth this year, its been six years since my brother was sadly taken from me and the rest of my family on New Years Eve 2004 and in two days I will be 21, an age my brother was only months off hitting before he was killed. Its because of this awkwardly somber tone that I feel the need to evaluate what I have been doing with my life for the last few years.





I have always taken risks and ignored all dissenting opinion on my lifestyle choice.I guess I have always lived my life in a certain respect, I know what I want from life and I'm going to make my best attempt at getting what I want out of it, enjoying every single moment on the way like it was the last. Never the less, Ive been left asking myself If I am really still cut out for everything.Am I going to make those I have lost proud of me? Is the hectic run of whats been apart of me for as long as I want to remember finally started becoming the vocation I never wanted to be stuck with. I honestly cannot say for sure, my head is in a state of composed pandemonium that I am yet to take time to work out.



Maybe its just the January blues setting in, perhaps I haven't stuffed myself with enough festive cheer this year, I really don't know.As January floods In, I find my feelings on particular friendships fading to a dull aversion and general lack of respect, It has me left with a awkward taste on my tongue that has me wanting to scream home truths at those who painfully need to hear them. I appear to have lost what I gained in 2010 already and I guess the untimely exit of these things has left me with a slightly cynical and confused outlook on things. Hello 2011.